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Saturday, November 19, 2011

The Heated Glow

I remember hearing arguing. It was night-time. I was five. We tip-toed through the dark... me wearing my nightgown, and my little brother wearing his little toddler pj's with the feet. We carefully and oh so quietly sat at the top of the stairs to the basement.

The arguing got louder. The warm glow from the basement lights became heated with anger and blame. I whispered to my brother to stay still. I slowly crept, trying not to trip on my nightgown, to get a peek. I needed to see it. I could feel the hate, but I needed to witness it. Just two steps down and I could see them. A loud accusation swiftly followed by a forceful slap to the face!

It happened at that moment. That single moment forever changed me. I quickly grabbed my brother and led him back through the darkened house to his bed.

...
Who hit who? I don't know. It doesn't matter. All I knew was that my safe world was destroyed before my eyes. I could feel it to the core.

Within a year my parents divorced. The ugliness, the hatred, fear and pain intensified for both of them. The uncertainty, sadness, fear and confusion grew for my brother and I.